Stay or Leave

Hi, right now , right here, at this moment , I feel so confuse about my choice, I always priorities others than myself. But when I come this question, I asked myself "what if I get to know I have only 1 left day to live in this world? what is the thing that I've done and feel proud about myself? what is the thing that makes me regret? Do I feel happy and satisfy with my choice, my decision ,my life generally?"
Honestly, I'm not shocked at all when answers appeared in my mind, but what's my next move I asked myself. I'm afraid of changes. Fear & uncertainty hold me back from what I want to do. I'm afraid if I left this place, my friend will be having trouble, I know my role, I 've helped and done my part and even outside my job scope,even though I didn't get anything in return, I just want to help my colleagues, my friends ...what I know is, I do my best, contribute what I can, learn as much as I could, and the rest will come to me (benefit) 'someone told me this' ...(1/6/17) Jo.
to be continue... as maybe 1 day when I see back what I wrote today , I might have a different perception about my thought :)

2014 review

This month is stepping to the end of the year, December of 2014. After read all the posts, some makes me feel funny and yet stupid, some still touching the most hurt part of my heart. But as i said, now is already 2014, i have stopped writing blog since 2011. Within this few years, there are good and bad of course, we have grown up physically and mentally wise, we learnt alot after we stepped into this society,and many things we know are not within our authority. The day some of us might prioritise our gf/bf or friends 1st, tell parents that we r busy, but now we definitely choose to back home to gather with our family member once we have chance and we take turn to accompany our bf/gf when both of us bek home. maybe everyone has already passed their rebellious life as now they became good girl and good boy. It is a big change for me in my job wise as i left working as a physio and now my job is even more meaningful and helpful. I can travel alot and see my family more often. And .... Many more in my heart, that will be better keep to myself and slowly digest it.

Love is still remain...

I clearly know that we no longer together, but my Feeling towards you, the feeling of having you with me, the Love...still remain...This would be the Hardest part...
Even thou I told you that I'm still thinking of you, but the only replied that I've got was ' It's just time...In time, u wont feel in that way anymore'...
I'm still looking for a way turning back....

。。。

为什么人总是不会知足？幼稚园都学过了，贪心的小黄狗，看见了水里自己的倒影，嘴里还啃着另一根骨头，于是，为了要抢到‘水里’的那根骨头，而跌入河里。。。
应该分清楚河汉界，不要再拖泥带水了。。。可是，心里总有好多好多的不舍得。。。那些开心的回忆一直拉着大家的距离，不肯剪断。。。
在残忍，也得牺牲。。。事实就是那么的残酷。。。

好乱

出馗，绝对做不得。。。会有报应。。。

疑惑。。。

当初的幻想象清晨迷蒙的雾，有一道暖暖的光照射着。。。随着太阳升起，雾也被太阳的热情收服，虽然可惜，但还是得乖乖的伏在叶子上完成它的过程。。。凝聚变成露珠，幻想也慢慢变成真实。。。看到的，不象是小说里或小学生在作文里所描写的一样“美丽早晨”。。。而是 。。。~ 所不出一句话，只能感受。。。那种感觉有多无奈。。。感叹，为何现实生活，和自然生态有那么天渊之别呢？虽然生物和大自然都是上帝制造的，但，至少在自然生态，只需每天完成它的过程，而人咧？明明就有问题，可是总不能解决还是选择逃避，留着污迹，让遗憾陪他们度过人生。。。

生日快乐、Happy Birthday

平平淡淡总比不开心来得好。。。和去年相比较，虽然哪都没去，可是我宁愿像今年的一样以平淡的心情过完这一天。。。今年，让我深深体会到，在普通的日子也可以比在特别的日子过得开心，不一定要在特别的日子才可以体会到那种心情。。。

已经第三年了，过生日都有Assignment来陪着。。。今年，放纵自己，动都没动，在家悠闲着。。。再和B到Chicago Ribs用餐。。。餐后，陪他买一些出国的须用品，过后就到他家去，谈谈天。。。 

很奇怪，他说：“长大了，22岁了，要好好读书。。。知道吗？”*心想，他干脆当我爸爸算了啦~（他会说22岁是我个人要求的）嘻嘻！不要脸的小家伙。。。

是很平淡吧？没有生日蛋糕，没有蜡烛。。。生日歌？有啦~弟弟致电，只唱了生日歌，什么都没说就挂上电话。。。莫名其妙，真是的~ 

可是就是心满意足了。。。嘻嘻 ^^

Fried Mushrooms

Grilled lamb chop,Pork rib and baked potatoes

First weekend in Melacca

Valentine's day is just around the corner, there're so many couples out there celebrate it with their loves one. It doesn't mean you can only celebrate valentine's day with your bf/gf, but your loves one - family members,close friends,or even your close housemates (if u have them), etc.

Altho' I don't get to celebrate with my B. on 14th Feb, but I still have him and 2 more friends (How & Ying) to enjoy the 2d/1n amazing food trip at Melacca during the 1st weekends of posting in Melacca.We had tried most of the famous food and local cuisine over the Jonkers st.

Yesterday, We've tried the Melacca cendol,Ais kacang ,baba nyonya laksa and curry laksa at Jonker88, followed by one of the famous chicken rice ball at Jonker also.we were Q'ing up for almost 30mins for that chicken rice under the burning sun . Ouhh ya! The most 'Fantabulous' 1, seafood at Portugese village!! yum yum!! ^^ 

Besides, we also visited those historical buildings ~ 

This morning,we went to have our Creepe cakes (yummy),after that we stopped at a local kopitiam-siang chiang, to have half-boiled eggs,steamed roti and kopi o'.

Next station, chicken rice ball again at another shop at Jonker streets.  Before they balik, we went for satay babi...{^(@@)^} 

Thanks 3 of them for coming all the way to Melacca to spend their weekends with me,especially my B to celebrate this special day in advance with me.

Gift from my B.

p.s: so sorry T.T  Didn't prepare gift for him. So, last minute belanja him seafood.

Respect each others' feeling

To avoid unnecessary argument which could lead to unhappy r/s, I'll just keep everything for myself...which was initially I thought communication is very important to clear all the doubts and misunderstanding between us. 

Paranoid and afraid to tell ... why huh?

Being Ignored again and again and again and......

I HATE THIS FEELING!!!

谁都带不走这片云彩，留下的只有回忆 陪我们回味

不知为什么，那么感伤。。。现在的我是不想理会别人怎么想我，只想好好，平安的过完这一年半的时间。。。上个星期连续3天头痛不已，担心自己好像有什么不治之症，晚上还常发恶梦。。。其实，这几个晚上都睡不好，所以黑眼圈这么大。。。我又认识几个朋友，那么年轻，就突然间被证实是最后一期的病。。。总共有三个，虽然都不是很熟。其中一个，是家乡的朋友，小时候有一起玩过。。。比我小一岁。。。突然间宣告不治，这样就走了。。。一直到刚才，我看到以量的部落格“祝你生日快乐”，我都不敢打开来看。。。生命，不长不短。。。我想，应该是他的病人在生日那天离开这世界吧~ 怕，读了又再哭。。。所以，为什么要担心那么多？就开开心心的过就好。。。做好自己的本份，想做什么就去做吧~

朋友，。。。。。

Learn how to cope with one another...

Seriously, I hate this sentence :
[If you like someone, you must accept the good and bad points of that person.]

Actually I got this sentence from one of my classmates- David. Not prejudice definitely,but just nice it stimulates my brain to write something regarding to this.
Initially, yes...I agreed. It's true you need to accept the entire person physically and mentally...but what about his or her attitude/personality? If your partner is a very bad tempered person, cannot even wait for you for 10,20mins just because of he feels that you're wasting his time, which he could use that 10 to 20 mins to nap. After all, he kept throwing tantrums, barking for 1 hour...of course if you love him, you have to accept the way he behaves... What you can do is nothing but just acting like a deaf person and bear with him....however,to live with this sucky monster, are you sure you'll Love him enough to bear him for your whole life? including his attitude being like this? People,Learn how to cope with each other...He should at least learn, slow to anger and control it by telling the girl nicely..Am I right?

2nd, a guy who slaps his own girlfriend is totally a junk!! never be a good listener and never wants to talk about their problems, this kind of MOFO doesn't deserve your love, leave that pharker ASAP!!! I was so stupid, go tell people,as if they could help me by making me feel better cuz they were sympathy on me... Terrible...tsk!!  >.<"
 
There is another story, initially, a gang of our friends that we used to mix together usually, keep saying that sentence to me...I'm not sure whether they were telling the same thing to that person or not...They are kinda like ..."helping"...(my side) That is why, now I am on my way to work out since that fatty has offered girl a chance...If it doesn't give a fruitful outcome, doesn't matter...At least I've tried... but now,it seems like I'm convinced, even i never speak out to anyone yet. Hope that, in the end, things run smoothly and ... fatty wont let me down.

Therefore, a good communication between both could helps to avoid those unwanted/unnecessarily doubt n problems...Please analyse a person,before u choose him/her as your boyfriend/girlfriend... Those scary incidents makes me don't believe in feeling ... I've became an analyser...

Terima kasih tuan tuan dan puan puan,saudara dan saudari sekalian. 

I was wrong....

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. [看了一篇文章写的。。。]

[It has been 6 years...I thought I've learned some lessons from my experience...I thought I was the so-called Director, I thought I could change everything in such a way that I wish it to be. After 6 years, I am still the same. Every time when things happened, I always magnify and overvalued my ability, thought that I could make things better.However, after I tried to fix or trying to negotiate when things happened...No doubt, superficially I could see some changes there. Contrarily, I felt something went missing too~ "Sincerity" no longer there.The more I asked, the more they will do it purely just because I want it to be like that instead of they do it/ say it from the bottom of their heart. Still remember one of my previous post? I said, I envy...I feel I'm so stupid and regret with what I've done on myself...Now, I've looked back,and asking myself, I have everything, ain't I? I should have let it works slowly and naturally. Good one will always goes to ones who waits. I don't have to push or say a single word. Remain silent as I come, and go if the feeling for me no longer there. I wish I could implement what I've understand from the statement above, altho' I feel guys should read it and practice it in real life rather than we,ladies... ] 
and one more thing I've learned... Learn to bear and forgive if you really love them...just how u were forgiven by Him...of course u wont angry your family members for a life time right? you fight and you play n laugh after so many times,love for each other will never reduced even a single mm3...how nice if both of u (I should say,all the couples) can just be like that...

老娘在此祝，天下有情人终成眷属

好笑到。。。。。。。

哈哈！！以下是我和叔叔的对话：-

susu: 你有去过青屋（che'chu）吃hokkien mee lam loh吗？好吃！

我： 有去过那边吃，可是没听说过哪里的福建面lamloh好吃。。。以前after clubbing 都去那边吃。。。

susu: wah! 你有去 clubbing 的啊？

我：以前去过几次。。。现在没有了。。我很乖的啊～呵呵！

susu: 呵呵！ 你很 "guai"? 你的"guai" 是乖巧的“乖” ，还是“kuai lan" 的 "kuai?

*这一句pom出来，真是让我反应不过来。。。表妹和姑姑都笑爆了。。。

今天过得还蛮充实的。。。开心！！ ^^

Facebook status....

从 [in a relationship---->single---->widowed---->single]...接下来呢？complicated吗？

无聊透了。。。一点玩意儿都没有~ 刚洗完澡，正在做面膜。。。那么有时间，干嘛不做些有意义的是啊？有啊~下午虽了午觉。。。‘吃’下午茶。。。这样就完了。。。想读书。。。一天拖着一天。。。常给自己借口。。。

明天要早醒，和叔叔，姑姑，表妹一起去吃早餐然后shopping...嗯~就这样啦。。。

哎哟~想到我的电脑。。。还真麻烦！！ 可是，幸好有人心情好，帮了我一个大忙，以免费修理电脑的权利都帮我争取到了！！ 哈哈！！ 好开心！可是，他还是在那边碎碎念啦。。。我知道他要我学习自己解决问题，可是。。。我英文太差，怎么说得赢他们咧？

总而言之，谢啦大肥bebi！！ 回去再好好请你吃一餐咯~ 

今天的他简直就是一座大冰山。。。我问一句他答一句。。。算了！sms 就够了。。。

啦啊啊啊~！！！！！ 

故事完毕了！谢谢！！

Surprise!

很感谢我的假期和圣诞不是没有惊喜,而只是迟到的惊喜^^
很开心不只是那名贵的礼物,而是另一个被肯定的礼物...虽然,我不赞同...但是,心里面,安了许多...
现在的我,压力越来越大..因为,我没有因为这两份礼物而忘我...我还是一个Analyser,知道我要的是什么,必须做到的东西又是什么...因为,我不是要求物质的女生,我还很理智...
然而,还是有担心的事情...原来,他的弟兄们都低估他了... 不知道他的厉害...绝对比蜜蜂,蝴蝶还高招~ 就因为这样,我都不去问他太私人的问题...免得打翻一大瓶醋...我唯一能做到的就是闭两只眼,如果发生了,试着改变自己的观念...或许,可以商量...虽然之前发生一件事,他也答应不会再这么做..可是.... 他会吗? 我相信他会!!

圣诞节的话

有朋友说过，在这一天，不只是一个庆祝的节日，也是纪念他们的神所为他的信徒们所作的牺牲和复活之日。。。我不是什么基督教徒，不过以前有参与过，所以多少都知道一些些。。。
以前，都和其他人一样，都会做什么交换礼物的。。。可是，就在去年，认识了一个笨蛋，从未收过他的一份礼物，现在的我，也不会期望收到礼物。。。可是，我还是会照样把我自己的心思做出来，送给朋友们。。。 慢慢的，我想我也会习惯吧？
为什么把自己描写得那么可怜兮兮啊？最近爱上了手表，要不要向妈妈撒娇，要一个啊？呵呵！！ 好卑鄙哦~
这一次，常常往槟城来回，刚好圣诞夜还在家乡，都不能和朋友一起出去。。。
嘻嘻！写到一半，突然间想到去年的31/12写的部落格，光阴似箭，又到了今年的年为了。。。好不舍得哦！一眨眼，又毕业了！！！ 哈哈！！

Envy

Everytime I scanned through my facebook homepage, I could see those comments and shoutouts posted by my friends and my cousins to their bf/gf... I started to think,who am I? why I cannot be like them? Carefree...
I'm just a girl like you people out there, what I want is just a simple relationship with my love one. However, what are those matters that actually hinders me from having a simple relationship as others are having?
Honestly, I doubt my confidence,also your feeling towards me...I could see you are trying hard to convince me and gain confident from me towards you. However, I don't feel secured sometimes just because I get ignorance from you in public and i've to pretend nothing happened...
Envy, I always envy on those couples who can be so carefree ^^
They are so sweet ^^
sometimes, I'll console myself with your text msg... The only one msg which can only make me feel comfort was "holding your hand and walk along with you,to take your car..." --- definitely you forget this ,but I r'mbered it altho' it no longer in my inbox....
I think, it's time for me to grow up... thought I've learned from my previos r/s, I thought i've already grown up...the truth is...I'm still a <3 failure~

讨厌鬼！！！

为什么我那么执着？ 为什么我那么在乎？ 为什么我心里那么的害怕？ 我真的害怕。。。我再也不会相信任何人所说的话了。。。我真的好失望。。。我的要求只是坦白。。。为什么要说谎？说谎是不是很过瘾？ 我想，以后我会以同样的态度来对待了。。。都怪自己笨。。。以前什么事都告诉人家。。。我越在乎，越把事情搞得复杂，惹人心烦！ 倒不如，我也来说说"骗话"，让他们感觉，被"骗"的滋味。。。为什么我把自己搞得这么累？对不对？两个人相爱，在一起自然的就会开心。。。如果，当爱情走到必须一起努力的时候，那就是有问题了。。。

我想，我不需要那么贬低自己的价值。。。好像又听朋友说过“人长得那么好看，家庭背景有那么好，肯定有更好的人来爱你、疼你。。。为什么要伸手向他乞讨？” 

这句话说的没错，虽然不是指我，但是事实在于“只要那个男生真正喜欢你的话，他会为你付出，疼你，绝对不会放你一个人去面对困难，做任何事之前都会顾虑到你的感受。。。不是吗？”

还是，我真的不适合？我开始觉得累了。。。因为我怕。。。我对他太有信心了。。。以前我有人告诉我说“男生不会随便对女生那么好。。。对那女生有意思才会对她好”那～ 她那么不顺路，他那一天都那么累了，他不拒绝她，一回家又出去载她。。。这又意味着真么呢？ 她家人呢？她不是已经有男朋友了吗？为什么会要他去载？换着是我，我还会不好意思呢！！

如果， 在那封简讯有明确说好是她的话，这些烦死人的事情就不会发生了！！！还有，他说话的语气。。。那伤我还不少。。。 讨厌！！！ 鬼话连篇！！！ 我想我以后不会笨笨地说实话了。。。

我想我自己也可以找到我要的快乐。。。更不需要人家来施舍我！更何况，有人说：“只要有快乐和信心，不用你伸手，爱情也会来找你。。。” 到时候我就不必为这些不值得我烦的人和无聊的事而烦了。。。

听着， 我真的不需要你的怜悯！！! 我自己可以独立！！！不喜欢我的话就请你从我的生活中消失，爱我的话，请你别让我觉得害怕。。。嘴巴所说的是一回事，做的又是另一回事～ 你们真的好恐怖～这叫我怎么相信？ 怕～怕～

Blessed and Happy Birthday, Uncle!! ^^

Hhhmmph~ uncle, sorry coz I've nothing special and fancy stuff for you, but i could only made this as your birthday gift, hope you like it~ 

 

Happy birthday ^^

hehex!paiseh la... the writting abit messy...

ouh~ ya... and the layer cake, hutang first okay? 

epi epi bird-day to you, tua pui!!  ^^