Envy

Everytime I scanned through my facebook homepage, I could see those comments and shoutouts posted by my friends and my cousins to their bf/gf... I started to think,who am I? why I cannot be like them? Carefree...
I'm just a girl like you people out there, what I want is just a simple relationship with my love one. However, what are those matters that actually hinders me from having a simple relationship as others are having?
Honestly, I doubt my confidence,also your feeling towards me...I could see you are trying hard to convince me and gain confident from me towards you. However, I don't feel secured sometimes just because I get ignorance from you in public and i've to pretend nothing happened...
Envy, I always envy on those couples who can be so carefree ^^
They are so sweet ^^
sometimes, I'll console myself with your text msg... The only one msg which can only make me feel comfort was "holding your hand and walk along with you,to take your car..." --- definitely you forget this ,but I r'mbered it altho' it no longer in my inbox....
I think, it's time for me to grow up... thought I've learned from my previos r/s, I thought i've already grown up...the truth is...I'm still a <3 failure~