告诉我你真实的感受，好吗？

不要再逃避了，请你面对我好吗？我不是很清楚你到底在想什么？ 以前的你一定会回我简讯,可是经过这件事后,你有时候都不会回我简讯了~ 你能叫我不怀疑你生气吗？

我真地向你道歉，因为没想过会写到敏感的话题。。。

因为在生活的例子真的是有这些人的存在。。。

所以我想，这一次只是我一厢情愿罢了，不关你的事啦~  别把自己当主角啦~ beh paiseh... hahhax!

既然是朋友的话，就告诉我你真实地感受，不需要担心，我不会难过。。。

就想你所说的，没希望好过假希望~  我会一个人面对这些事。。。

毕竟，我已经告诉过自己早就应该知道答案了嘛。。。这些都不是最重要的 ~

I'm stubborn,so... don't ask me to give up something so easily... It's time consuming...hope you understand...^^

The Eyes ..... that staresssss.... Ssspooooky~

Uuhmm~ Everybody has eyes,but do they know how to use their eyes in the right way?

<眼睛是所谓的灵魂之窗> ----> For those who don't understand the metaphore "soul of the window", it means " eyes is the most important thing in your body which completes your soul " ... So, you guys, better make sure yourself make use of them in a right way okay? 

God creates a pair of eyes for us to see...To see the beautiful World that He has created for Human being and other Living Organism, To see what is right and what is wrong, To see Pretty Girls and Handsome Guys, To see yourself through the mirror (ouh~ you better don't...I'm worried that you might faint to see your reflection as an UGLY creature)....To see whatever things you wish to see~

Buuuut .....~  but! Never ever stare at people! This is a very basic courtesy, don't you know that? Ouh~ you don't know huh?  That is why I'm here~ The main purpose for me to be here is to tell you that staring is impolite!! We know we are pretty, but please.... Your 'stare' is very much annoyed...so, please behave yourself and learn to be not stare ~ 

 

His eyes were severely crossed!

This is how the Story ends ...

Basically, I don't really learn from my pass experience or mistakes that i've done before...In fact, even though i seek for advice from people who knows about him better than I do, still I was sooO stubborn that I still keep put'in so much hope on it, until last nite, the truth has revealed and I hurt myself once again... What more I can say? say Padan muka to myself? 

My koko wasted his energy and time and talked to me for the whole nite when i realised that I've 1 kind of good feeling towards that Mr. Banana but I never listen...Stubborn...Didn't I ?  Please give me a generous applause~ What a good example of a stupid and failed student am I huh~ 

But maybe some of them telling me that if that person really do like you very much, religion thingy is not a problem at all...The most important thing is understanding between each other because different religion will have a different thinking, different practice ... So, the only interpretation i can get from this person, it's clear enough... I don't have to mention ad rite? so, it's ONLY 1 side reaction ~ I throw the ball, but somehow, I 'll never get the ball back...

Alright, fair enough...As i was mentioned in my previous blog post,  I've got the answer and clear explanation from him already, so it's memang padan muka to myself. 

Anyway, this time, is really my fault to "play and joke" too much without taking any precaution. That is why i slipped and fell down from the cliff, and I don't feel comfortable at all...At ALL~ When i saw the line "it's only for fun"... Last nite, I couldn't sleep well and had a nitemare... The worst is I'm going to have presentation today... *holy toooooot~

But still , we're friendz... Not a big deal... I'm not a small girl anymore... Plus, this love thingy is not as simple as a small girl ask for a candy / lollipop or plush toy which in the sense that 'I must get it!!' otherwise,I will cry... 

In adult world, it's totally different especially in this Love thingy situation, it's not just a candy or plush toy that you wish to have...It's more than that...Actually the feeling is like...stronger than that...stronger than a girl wants a candy or FluffaaaaayyyY Unicorn~  *Agnes voice*

[If only you know ...but u will never know]

However, I've learned that love is not about to make something or maybe someone I would say, belongs to you. It's about how are you going to make your love belongs to someone...Although, they might perasan or am song when they feel your love, but at least they feel happy~ Am I right?  My dear readers?

Uuhmm~ Now, I became more and more afraid of being so serious .

I admit that I'm not good in flirt'ing ...

Don't you think that I'm already get enough troubles for myself? So, it's better to kidding around and never be serious when chit-chat'ing... 

Ouhh~ No no no~!!! If think from another angle, I should learn how to be tough!! Tough enough to prevent the arrow from the Cupid to penetrate my heart or any part of my body...Or wear bullet shield...hahahx!! 

So, basically this is how the story ends ... 

No more flirtish messages ,only problem-solution messages and caring messages between US   ^^

Baby dino & ah kong

 

[Hey~ Don't always love love love lerr...(The most sux'iest sentence that i've ever seen which is used to comfort emo people like me) @@    koko, u failed ~ I fail u...can? hahhax!! ]

Friends : Quadro : My True Personality : Carefree

Preface:

Erherm!! Errr.... uhmm.... Actually it's very spontaneous to start this essay with this title. Basically, I would like to introduce those characters that are going appear in my paragraph soon.

College friend : Miss Chew, Mr.Lee, Mr. Chee

??? friend : Mr. Loo

Chapter 1:

All the three guys are working, 2 are younger than me, another is my koko...Ms. Chew is the only girl who communicate with me in dialect among our friends...

They are all my friends who are not around me 24.7, but when we get together, I will not cover up the true colour of myself, I'm not sure whether they are doing the same or not...but at least, at that moment, I am myself,never show them any fake' ness in front of them ...So, when being together with them I don't have to pretend,there will be no secret ...Same thing happens here, I'll share every single thing with them, but their , still depend on them whether they're willing to share with me or not...It is not a must to tell, they will say it if they want to...I do have a lot of friends, different categories ,but Not this kind of Friend...I feel lucky to have them as my friend...I

m sorry because until now, i still cannot fill in a suitable description for this gang of friends...We can talk about studies, talk about our clinical placement experience, happy/funny/love/sad stories, underage stuff for joking purpose, watch movie, dinner, teasing each other...There will be endless fun for us.... but too bad, it's just time not allow us to do that so often.

Chapter 2:

Ms. Chew is the one who knows almost everything about me, inside out, upside down...

(I think lerr...or maybe i perasan ,den i tak tau la....) She'll still keep silent all the time if I did something which is abnormal (eg : tip toe walking in her room or simply fold and throw my clothes into my wardrobe ), until she cannot bare with me she will help me to do all those stuff... She is not a girl that sweep the floor everyday, neither me...but once she knows that i want to go to her room, she will sweep the floor because she knows...I'm particular with cleanliness but not tidiness ...She would teach me how to dress up , telling me to change my image or whatsoever style instead of everyday wearing T-shirt, T-shirt and T-shirt ...I tried to change, but fail....*giggle*   (^*^)

Besides, I used to stay with her after break up with my ex...That time,her freaking weird room mate hasn't move in yet...so, We went to class together, we online, we ate together...did almost all the daily living activities together, except for bathing and pang sai... *giggle*

We did steamboat for 3 days continuously...

Breakfast+Lunch+Dinner = Yummy Tom yam Steamboat

Tom yam Steamboat  

 

Chapter 3:

Hmm~ Mr. Lee & Mr Chee were room mate before, each of them has their own characteristic... The way they talk are different, the way they manage their problems are different... but once three of us sit and have a discussion or chit chat, they would come out with the same idea, somehow... Especially on the topic that might misleading my thinking/perception/understanding...We'll teasing each other, laughing together and look at pretty girls... 

"hey! hey!! look at that girl! behind u! behind u! sui boh? " --->this would be 1 of the hot Questions ~ ^^ 

You may not know that, even they are so good with each other, staying in same room but don't know each other's birthday~ What a good room mate for each other huh... don't even know each other's birday and could only come out with one word when I called 1 of them out to give that birday guy a surprise ----> "C***i!!! today is Alex's birday ar?!!! How come I don't know?!! kh****k** liao, kh****k** liao...." 

I was like... *phew~ How sad if Alex heard Terrence's respond ... * 

but still, when three of us comes together, I wouldn't think about other things,only kapsiao'ing and there will be an endless discussion for all day long... Any Topic~ Any! unlike some male friends, we might have a certain limit or boundary when chit chat'ing ^^ but not for both of these 2 si ginna... ^^  

These 2 little boy working, but I'm still studying... So,hardly meet each other during day time anymore. Hope there are more outings to come for us~

Chapter 4:

Uhhmmm~ This guy... How I'm gonna write about this guy huh? I just knew him for not more than 3 months, through my cousin sis. A guy that makes me feel like.... wow~! I wish to have this ko ko, who can settle some of my problems for me...Hahahx!! No matter happy or sad, I'll tell him and ask the "solution" from him... hahhax!!  I haven't fully evaluate this guy, but i feel safe when telling him my stuff...No matter from what dimensions, I feel he is much more better than the Inspector Gadget...hahahx!! This uncle Loo will give me advice (more to solution for the problem i creates) but sometimes he scolds me...@@ for being nottie ler...I'm too stubborn ad...That's why he calls me si ginna....

He knows me quite well...in the sense that , he will not argue and kira with me for everytime after i've made him angry or said the words that's hurtful ...

I couldn't elaborate more than this...but he is a great buddy to me....^^

Now, not even partially evaluate....1/10 pun tak sampai.... hahax!!  I know I'm failed...He fails me bcuz I never listen to him, and when i get into trouble, i seek for him again... just like 乩童！！ hahahx!!

I wish I could have more and more chapters to go....It's time to sleep~

我的哭点 --- 不高

My close friend : Ning

My adik / Ning's lover : An

After I have been watching the video edited by Ning, plus the story and the obstacles that she was facing during the process of baking the cake for An's birthday, my vision has became blur...my eyes are flooded with tears...I have to admit that my crying threshold is too low...

Even a tiny story, just like the criminal mastermind, a character in Despicable Me, has changed from a jerk into a lovely daddy of three orphan girls, especially when he gives those kids good night kisses to them which he never want to do that initially, my tears Ooze'ing from my tear glands at that moment...

* Lllaaaaame~ @@

I wish that I could be like her ,can prepare a handmade cake for my lovers, but i have no chance to come across this occasion. It has been so many years i left my family to further my studies in Penang and KL. I wish that my family members will stay by my side all the time...but the truth is ,i need to be independent....

No doubt, It's true that physically they are not with me, but i am very sure that, mentally they are all by my side 24.7...The most recent celebration was 2 or 3 years back from 2010, my siblings and I celebrate mother's day together, and I could still r'mber how charming and beautiful was her smile~ ^^

What about Boyfriend? Too bad, i have never celebrate birthday for anyone of my Ex's. Things happen before their or my birthday comes...Last year I wish to give him a surprise, but he ruined everything. 

*giggle + tears flow'ng*  .... 

Last year while preparing the things for his birthday,I still r'mber how does my friend advise me, but i never listen... This is because I thought that he really waiting for that surprise....After all, when i stand in front of him, he was just ....hmm...~ At the end, I hurt myself... Is that the reason why I am single now? 

Fear avoidance huh~  Lllllaaammeeeee~

Apparently, i am still enjoying my single life very much! I have my Freedom and Privacy! I have my male and female friends~ I have my uncle and aunt~ I have my lil. cousins...^^

I am here wish'ing all the couple, married husband & wife , 终成眷属 ~  Live Happily ever After~

After i've read one of my friends' blog, only i know, without the existing of  the peak high and peak low, just like the waves in the ocean ,my life will be just a clean, nice and crispy piece of paper and never be exciting... so, specially thanks my Family Members, my Aunty Uncle ,Cousins, my Friends, my Enemy, my Ex and Readers for playing a role in my life... * Lllllaaaammmeeee~

Basically, It's all about our biochemical thingy in our body, the neurotransmitter substances that manipulate our mood or feeling...

It's impossible for someone neither to have happy feeling all the time nor sad all the time...

So, if there is sad thing happens to you, solve it with a smile...This is because I believe that, God or maybe Time will allow  you to think critically in order to get the solution and ensure that problem resolved 1 day...

Problem never exists forever ~ 

The only problem that could defeat you, is yourself ~ 

Try to be a good listener, counsel them or try to help them by giving them advice or suggestions...

For those who can read mandrin, I 'd like to tell you this :

帮助别人，提升自己~

帮助别人，不在于你可以帮到他们解决多少问题/烦恼，而是，当你听到他们的问题后，在你身上所发生的种种逆境，会让你觉得，你比别人好很多了，那你的问题就不再是问题了~

ComplicateD

Hey, you~ yes, it's you~ If you really want to make that person to be yours, what should you do? Of course, basically you need to get to know them and understand them first before everything comes to play a role...

but i thought this would be part of the process for a couple? how about other issue? Fear avoidance? Mindset? culture? 

Age? ---> (this would be chye's primary consideration)

Until now, i've seen alot of examples, friends around me and makes me realise that  If this would happened, that means these "issues"  really significantly affect our decision making,then ,that means you don't love that person enough to accept their "Imperfection"... 

My statement here, never blame any side of  you people. In fact, you may have your right to reason out... At least, you let your rational overwhelm rather than your ....whatsoever feeling that taking into account for any of your decision making. (p.s: Maybe this is one of the reason makes me admire about you.)

However, we don't know what is going to happen in our future...Time will prove everything after action has been taking place..So, people... If you really think that, he or she is an ideal partner in future, don;t have to be nice looking or rich, The personality is the most important thing..Opportunity strikes only once, grab it or you might regret, no harm done if u give yourself a try...

(koko,this 1 must r'mber...I support u..go and get her if u still think she is the best partner...altho in your heart im a failed student but i do learn...)

For me, myself, At least I never regret, and happy with the answer together with the explanation i've got.   

[ps: Since we already know the answer, and yet we are still fine with the way we used to communicate with each other... I am satisfy with every explanation that u gave to me and happy with our current condition. The most important thing is i don't have to keep this for myself anymore, and we can be ourselves again and act carefree all the time ]

[Ning kia, my english sux! my grammar sux! my writing....SUX! cnt swim zzz...]

Aging Process

Hhummhh~ what a wonderful Single life that i am having huh.... Fascinating~ Exciting~ Carefree~ 

Go where ever place i want to, do whatever things i wish to, never care about how does other people judging me...* like I careeeee~ *

However, most of my daily routine involve only my aunt & uncle which makes me feel like my Aging Process is speeding up. No matter how do i judge myself, from what angle, each of every dimension, i feel old... T.T

The way I think, the way I talk, the way I act, is  too 'lao yi' !!! I dont want to be that old~ What can I do in order to inhibit the secretion of growth hormones?  

Friends, any outings please count me in, in order to slower my aging process~ 

朋友的定义

我， 或许对你们不重要，但是，你，你， 你，你，还有 你，在我心里，我真的把你们当成了我生活的一分子。。。我把我的一颗心拿出来对待朋友，不是希望得到昂贵的回报，我需要的只是关心，支持，当对方的听众，一起制造快乐的回忆，陪对方度过我的人生。。。

要找到知心好友，真得很不容易。。。有时候我觉得我开始依赖你们了，所以，就算一点点的变化或是对我的态度有所冷淡，我会很失望~ 还是如果你有苦衷，还是忙着，可能笨蛋的我不知道，请你们给我一声通知。。。虽然我不是你的谁也好，至少我不会去想有的没的。。。
是从你身上学会“人是自私的” ， 这个道理。。。 我很想成为像你这样可以为自己而活一次，我承认，我很失败。。。因为我比较重感情，所以做不到。。。 也不是说你们不讲义气，这是人格问题。。。

在这两天的聚会上才学会，原来，做朋友也需要磨练好自己待人处世的表面功夫。。。带着面具去面对这世界。。。要不然，迟早被朋友背叛，也是自找的~ 没得怪谁的错。。。
是因为我从乡下来，所以我无知吗？难听一点，我就是笨！
还有谁可以来教我要怎样设计属于自己那精致的面具然后再怎么挂上它吗？
我想，对于你们来说，我这个孺子，怎么教都教不好吧~ 失败的学生，哪位老师想浪费自己的时间的。。。只能靠自己一步一步学~

我不知道我做错了什么事情，而造成你对我的敷衍。。。如果真的有，请你老实告诉我。。。别对我那么冷淡~ 我承认有的时候我很任性，我会试着改。。。江山易改，本性难移~请你们 给我多一点时间。。。
我知道你有比我还要好的朋友，但你对我一次又一次的拒绝， 我真得很失望。。。我介意为什么你什么事情都找他们，只是因为我们不是同一组的吗？ 真的那么简单？
你要我为你做什么，我都不曾拒绝过，如果不能，也尽量帮你完成。。。一来，可能希望能讨好你，帮你做好一件事后，可能会有话题，二来，想要你还记得我这个朋友，我会帮你，不会跟你计较什么的。。。我关心的是你的人，你的健康，你快不快乐。。。 我不希望你饿肚子，我会请你吃。。。你不开心，我希望你会找我倾诉。。。
好朋友不一定要每天都粘在一起，只要对方有事，都回为他做些什么的，那才是真正的朋友。。。


每个人对朋友都有自己的定义~ 那你的定义又是什么呢? 请你们大家扪心自问。。。只有对你们有利益的才叫做朋友吗？如果是这样的话，那我因该清楚知道为什么我交的全都是平平之交~  还是我的面具太透明式了？ 时常表露出自己最真的那一面？ 讨好不到大家~惹人讨厌？如果是这一点，我想，我会努力磨练~
不要到时候你们说我心机重就好了。。。   

)))))....我们的互动就像涟漪.....(((((

《 我和香蕉人的故事 - 第二篇 》

虽然之前说的是香蕉人还是没和小公主在一起，也对他不理不睬~ 可是，这一篇，故事有变动哦~

前几天，还以为说了什么不该说的话得罪香蕉人，结果连简讯都写得好短。。。可是再想想，可能他在忙着工作，不方便回。。。 嗯~ 既然他说没事，那就好~ ^^

一直以来是我太被动吗？还是香蕉人的本性就那么的冷淡？每一次都是我先找他。。。他才会有反应。。。（对不起，我不想接受这么高难度的挑战，我真的放弃了~ ）

可是前几天， 应为我忙着准备考试，既使一整天都不理对方，在睡醒开机和睡前关机时还是会受到一封香蕉人的简讯啦~ 可是，如果我没回呢？那真的就是一整天都不可能会有谈到话了~

觉得自己好像风筝，线一直被放了又收，收了又放。。。我很想当放线和收线的那个人，就在昨晚，我好像办到了。。。

最近，香蕉人好像在介意些什么的。。。以前的我们在FB 会光明正大的留言，现在呢？都尽量不去对方有留言过的留言板留言~ 

有人说了什么让彼此都尴尬的话，让彼此一直逃避对方~

那笨蛋还真是惹人惹事~ （我没说是谁, 你们也别瞎猜了）

有你陪我，一点都不寂寞~

你啊你，不用再怀疑了，就是你了 。。。真的对我每个星期天做么，有去哪里，那么有兴趣？我现在就来告诉你：我睡醒后就和叔叔，姑姑和表妹去吃早餐，过后再家一起看戏，晚上可能一起去 1U 逛~ 

也许你觉得我的周末过得很乏味无趣。。。都只跟家人，不找朋友一起出去wet。。。可是，只要我觉得开心，这不就够了吗？

其实，有你的简讯的陪伴，即使一整天呆在家里我也称不上是无聊的人。。。

至少我的一天，有哪几秒，几分钟由你来沾上一部分，都是我的荣幸~ 

也许你不觉得，但是我就是喜欢收到你的简讯，你的问候~ 

那至于已有男友/女友的你， 也别忘了我真的会想你。。。 尤其是妳。。。

我真的很想要和你去一家甜品店吃 ais keleng ... 听得懂这句话的妳，就是你啦~ 呵呵！！ 真的很想你啦！！！ 傻婆~ 

唉，最近出现了一座冰山。。。看来，不时不可能巧破那冰山，他还蛮幽默的~ 只是。。。  就是你。。。你啦。。。说什么也要拉到信仰去。。。 我想好了， 只做朋友~  他找我谈天，我就陪他说。。。我想和他分享事情，同样的，也会找他。。。

至于另一个朋友呢，我真的真的把他当成自己的哥哥。。。。什么事都会告诉他，因为他会帮我分析在给与我最恰当的劝告。。。 我做不对，他会骂我。。。可是我的任性有时候还真的把他气到无话可说~ 想在此跟他说声谢谢。。。对不起，请原谅我的任性~  

也有名称给你叫啦~ 小公主。。。 就是这么不听话。。。 很开心认识你~ 

还有你，我真的很想跟你上一课Anger Management & EQ management...很想好好学会怎样伪装自己，不这么容易把自己的情绪流露出来。。。很开心认识你~   ^^

 [文章上的‘你’指的就是你，就是每一个读者]

谢谢你在我生命中曾经是我的过客

之前，因为你的出现带给我真正的笑容。。。同样的，也因为你，不过，时间换成现在， 你把我的眼泪弄掉了。。。还以为我的伤口慢慢愈合，都是因为你的出现。。。到最后，你还在象似愈合的伤口上銿上一刀后再撒盐~

之前，我承认因为一时冲动，可能狠狠地把你 K 了一顿。。。可是， 身为朋友的你，请别带上你那一副好人面具来跟我做朋友。。。原因是 - 因为我笨 ~ 

他妈的~ 我心机没你那么重。。。 我老娘把我生出来的时候怕我太重，把那咚咚给拿掉了，所以我是没心机的小女生。。。

而且，我想在这里请这位脑残的先生， 别那么幼稚。。。

没错~ 你绝对有权力喜欢上你对她有好感的女生，不过请你别伤害这位没心机又无辜的笨女生。。。表姐只有一个，即使我有多不高兴你们在一起，我还是会给你们祝福。。。不过，至于我们的友情，就免谈了吧~！

 至少，我已献上我的祝福，也算是仁之已尽 。。。